


Love smells like rain

by Nisushi



Series: Nikki's Hideweek [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hide works with Marude, Hideweek, M/M, Post-Canon, Somewhere around TG:RE chp 127, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 08:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11100462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nisushi/pseuds/Nisushi
Summary: Day 1 -  永 eternity / foreverHide never gave up.





	Love smells like rain

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Hideweek everyone! 
> 
> That's literally all I've to say, so enjoy.

‘’Are you all alone here, little boy?’’

 _Dude, I’m not a little boy_. Hide didn’t say anything and kept his face hidden under the hood of his hoodie, away from the tall and flamboyant guy who had just approached him. Tsukiyama Shuu, if he remembered it correctly, was leaning down to come closer to Hide’s sitting posture.

‘’You can come with me if you have nowhere else to go, little boy. I can bring you to a place that’s safe.’’

It was raining, so Hide had taken a seat in an alleyway instead of his usual place somewhere on the pavements of the main street. The light rain couldn’t easily touch the grounds between the two buildings that were standing close to each other. Hide couldn’t catch a cold now.

He had been doing this for some time, hanging around in the most heavy ‘protected’ wards by the CCG, waiting for something to happen. And today was his lucky day. The man who was now squatting before him made his day.

Hide nodded to answer Tsukiyama’s question and took his hand that the other held out to help him get up on his feet. ‘’You don’t have to be scared. We’ll get you out of this horrible place.’’ So it was true then. The organisation that called itself Goat was picking up stray dogs from the streets. Damn, no wonder that wards like these were getting rid of its ghouls so fast. One part was immediately executed when they were caught by the Ogai, another part was brought to a safehouse. And Hide was certain he would be going to that safehouse right now, just like he wanted.

He stank of ghouls. The clothing Hide was wearing now were from ghouls. He had stolen them from those who had lost their lives because of the CCG. It was too easy, to just wait for the little children to kill off some ghouls and wait for them to search off other places. They let the corpses there, they would be picked up by other workers later on. It was too easy to sprint to one corpse, get some clothing from their limb bodies and run back.

Hide had to do this multiple times. He couldn’t smell the difference between a ghoul’s and human’s smell, but he knew that the people who he had wanted to find him could. Tsukiyama had probably picked up his smell and then made his way to Hide. Smelling like a ghoul was a big risk, because violent ghouls could have found him faster than Goat, or worse, the Ogai could have found him. Hide thanked anyone who was willing to listen to him for sending Tsukiyama.

Hide followed Tsukiyama through small alleyways, not knowing where exactly they were. He only knew, or hoped he knew, where they were going to. Tsukiyama was leading him to the hideaway of Goat. To Kaneki.

If Marude knew what Hide had been doing these last few weeks when he had told him that he just needed to get some fresh air, he would probably be more focused on Hide’s actions, not letting him away as easily as he did now. Hide always told him that he had to get away from their musty one-room apartment, and that he would always be back again on the same day. Hide didn’t like lying, but this was for the best. Marude must never know about his plans to get to Kaneki, even if he was only planning to check on his friend.

Marude knew about Kaneki, and that Kaneki thought that Hide was dead, and that Hide… still held the same feelings for Kaneki after all these years. Hell, he had had same feelings for Kaneki since the moment that he heard Kaneki’s voice for the first time. Even after almost dying because of said friend, Hide still loved him. He had always loved Kaneki.

These few years after the raid, Hide had spent his time on healing properly and trying to make contact with Marude. Sewing himself up was a pain in the ass, but worth it. Getting injured was worth it. As long as his agreement with the CCG was still going on, everything that seemed like a mistake would be worth it. If Kaneki was still alive, that is.

It would have been easier if Hide had just walked to the CCG right after the raid, but he wanted to keep his ‘missing’ status alive. It was for the better. When he had found his former superior again, Hide had a lot to talk about. Since then they had always been working as a team. Hide was happy that he didn’t have to spend those five years alone.

‘’You certainly aren’t one of words, _mon ami_? Or is it that you can’t speak?’’ Tsukiyama turned his head, hoping he could maybe get a glimpse of Hide’s face. But Hide didn’t give in, only shaking his head and keeping it down. The man before him let out a sigh and focused on what was in front of him again. Hide felt sorry for the man, being like this. But it was for the better. Things could get out of the hand, and Hide didn’t want to take any risks that would give away his identity if it wasn’t necessary. Like now, Hide didn’t plan to stay at whatever place Tsukiyama was bringing him to, he only wanted to see where Kaneki was so he could reassure himself that his friend was doing okay. And maybe so Hide then knew where his friend was and keep an eye on him…

Well, it was not his fault that spying on Kaneki had become a habit. Marude had called it an obsession when he had found out that Hide was spying on ‘Sasaki Haise’. It wasn’t an obsession, it was just that when Kaneki had first disappeared, Hide wanted to know where he was and did everything to find his lost friend. The two years that Kaneki had been in Cochlea and somewhere to deep in the roots of the CCG that Hide couldn’t come close to him, were horrifying. Hide didn’t know if the CCG had kept their promise and let Kaneki live for two whole damn years.

Marude kept him updated if there was any news about Kaneki within the CCG, since he still worked there. And then there was the moment that Sasaki Haise made his way into the picture. Hide had done research on the guy, not being too sure if it was his friend, but after having followed him once to observe the investigator, Hide knew it was Kaneki. He could feel it.

Once a week turned into twice and so on, Hide waking up early to just get a peek of Sasaki. Marude caught him once, scolding him that it was for the better if Sasaki didn’t know about his existence. It was for the better, but Hide had never stopped.

This continued, until Hide had lost track on Kaneki after an attack on café Re by the Ogai. When Hide heard some rumours about Goat saving innocent ghouls from the harsh way of the CCG, he knew what he had to do. And that was what he had been doing for some time. Waiting for someone to come and pick him up, and then bring him to Kaneki. _Well done, Nagachika_ , he smirked to himself.

They were suddenly walking into some abandoned building. Some rooms further they reached a stairway that was going underground. _So they are using the underground, heh_? Hide looked around when it was safe enough to look up a little. They were heading towards what looked like a metro station.

‘’No need to be scared, little boy. No one here will bite you.’’

And just when Hide was telling himself to be careful, he saw him. He was closer to him than he had been in a very long time.

‘’Ahh, my king. I’ve brought in a new member.’’

Hide tried to disappear. This wasn’t going according to his plan. He was so close, and he knew himself so well that he knew it was for the best if he ran away. Only this much closer, and Hide would throw everything away and go to him. He would think ‘screw it’ and lift his head and look at Kaneki and say something silly like ‘’Yo, Kaneki. Long-time no see.’’ and… get his arms around him and never let him go.

‘’…Thank you for the effort, Tsukiyama-san. And you don’t have to call me king, that’s only some commercial name.’’

Kaneki sounded embarrassed. He had grown a lot, Hide had seen it. But the shy boy who wanted to be as invisible as possible most of the time never left. Kaneki was still Kaneki.

Hide smiled, but it faded away quickly when Kaneki was suddenly standing near him. Way too close.

‘’I welcome you to our place. May I know your name? Then we can let you meet with every-‘’

And Hide was gone. He ran as fast as he could. He could hear voices calling for him, but he ignored every single one of them. Hide was scared for them coming after him. He had painted himself rather suspicious back there with running away after getting into a very secret hideout. Maybe they thought that he was a spy, too dangerous to let him walk away.

But they never went after him. Hide was safe for now. He tried to catch his breath a few blocks away from the building he just exited. Kaneki had been so close and Hide was actually very happy that he could be there with him for a few seconds. Marude would kill him if he knew about this, but Hide didn’t care. That moment was definitely worth it.

The rain was coming down with more violence and Hide was desperately searching for shelter. He leapt through the streets, looking up and noticing a small improvised homeless house on one of the roofs. Hide climbed the stairs of the building and went to the place that would keep him warm for some time. There was no one near there, so Hide crawled under the wood boards and canvasses and made it comfortable for himself.

Watching the rain coming down made him calm down. The sound of the pitter pattering was the only thing Hide could hear, together with some voices… voices? Hide looked down at the streets and suddenly saw one head of white running around, behind him a girl following his footsteps. Hide gasped. Kaneki and Touka were out there on the streets. Hide was too far away to be able to hear them properly, but he was able to catch bits and pieces of their dialogue.

‘’Kaneki… stop for a-‘’

Hide saw Kaneki slowing his pace and eventually stopping, but not completely. He was looking around like crazy.

 _Is he still looking for me_?

Hide was in a fight with himself. He was desperately hoping for Kaneki to just let it be, but also secretly wishing for Kaneki to find him. Hide tried to focus on the two again.

‘’Why the hell did you suddenly run away, Kaneki?’’

Kaneki stopped looking around, but didn’t answer. Touka tried to get him to talk, but never got what she wanted.

‘’ _Kaneki_!”

Even the rain was silent for a moment. This certainly was something to be interesting, and although Hide felt like he was abusing their privacy, he wanted to see what was going to happen. He had always found Touka an amusing person, and now he had first row tickets to her opening up.

She gave him a push, and Kaneki finally seemed to come back. ‘’I thought that I saw him.’’ He turned towards Touka, facing her. ‘’I actually thought I saw _him_ , Touka!’’ Hide asked himself who could be that person Kaneki was talking about when something clicked inside him.

 _I’m him_.

Kaneki had recognized Hide, and had actually gone and followed him. He was still looking for him. Hide couldn’t help but smile, even if it didn’t help him that Kaneki was searching for his friend. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t interfere his business. But still, it felt nice.

‘’I’m sorry, but he won’t come back.’’

And back to the harsh reality. Hide trusted Touka to help him out and get some sense into that kid.

‘’I know.’’

‘’Then stop looking for him.’’

 _God bless Touka for making it easier for me_. Hide didn’t want to hide in his apartment anymore. He had done that enough when other people were looking for him.

‘’ _I know_ , it’s just that…’’

Touka came close to Kaneki, hugging him as a result. Hide was looking.

‘’That you miss him.’’ Kaneki nodded and returned the hug.

 _Good, just finish it, Touka-chan_.

They looked at each other, Touka leaning in and Kaneki closing the last few millimetres.

 _Don’t let me think there is any reason that I should be there_.

Hide stayed for a while, even when the two went back. He was happy that his friend was finally accepting help from others. His fragile shoulders had never been able to carry all the burdens. Hide had always tried to share them, but Kaneki was a stubborn one and refused to share. Now, Hide felt like he completed his mission.

So, it was like that. Hide had seen it coming since the beginning. Those two would eventually get together. But even though Hide had always supported it, it still sort of hurt. Hide was selfish maybe, but he was always praying for the day where he could be there instead of Touka. Even now, Hide would do anything to feel the touch of Kaneki’s lips while holding him in his arms. It hurt, but it was a pleasant pain. One you could only get with bittersweet endings. That would do it for him.

Hide was asking himself the _what ifs_ , like what if Kaneki had never thought that Hide was dead? What if Hide had been there by Kaneki’s side when he awoke from Sasaki Haise? What if Hide had had enough courage to go and tell his true feelings?

But those never happened. Hide had to live with the circumstances, and he would. He would let it go. Only would he not stop loving the boy. Because Hide kept telling himself that if he did, he didn’t deserve to be there for Kaneki. Kaneki only deserved people who would not let him go and care about him and love him.

‘’Don’t push away that lovely girl again, Kaneki.’’ Hide laughed while wiping away the tears with his palms.

For the sake of Kaneki, Hide would love him forever. 

**Author's Note:**

> Take a look at my tumblr: Nitsuki-baka


End file.
